Change.

If you are actually reading this, kudos! Thanks for being interested in my craps haha.

Another year is ending soon in few hours time. 

2014 is ..... Too fast? And pretty much sucks. 

It is impossible to list out all the shitty moments and experience I'd throughout the year.

I'd spent first half of the year working (internship, office work & weekends work) , the rest half suffering because of a wrong decision.

The only things worth remembering were probably my getaway trip to Krabi and my personal 'project' was at the peak.

These few months, or should I say the whole year, I'd been utterly upset, too much thoughts occupying my little mind. 

That's not me. My friends and colleagues used to ask why I always looked worry free and happy-go-lucky. I thought I can hide my emotions pretty well till I started receiving comments that I looked sad, troubled, not as cheerful as before at later part of this year. 

I don't know what I want, or actually I do know what I want but I don't know how I should achieve them, is it worth to give up everything and chase it, will I regret, and so on and on and on.

So exhausted and suffocating by my own thoughts. Tearing between going for what will makes me happier and staying to do what is right. 

After days and days of considerations, with lots of different opinions , I'd decided to follow my heart, which is quit school. Yes, majority of people will respond that's not right, I should preserve.But I'm not that type of person who will say give up easily too, it took me a lot of courage to make this decision too. So much things I'd to give up and consider consequences I may face in future.

 But I shall believe in myself I will be fine and accomplish greater things. My life from 2015 onwards will be on my own hands. Really grateful for people around me supporting me. That's all I need. 

And fuck new year resolutions, because I can never achieve them haha.

 Just hoping I will find back myself and be happy with whatever I choose to do, not to regret any more.

xoxo

Solitude.

Hi schadenfreudies.

A rare moment that I had decided to stop all my overwhelming activities,
to lay my fingers on my keyboard and start to write this post. 

Time flies, I had already hit 20. What had I achieved? Was I happy with what I had done so far?
Am I satisfied with my life till now? Things that I had regretted? How my future will be?
The lists of questions just go on and grow. 

I think I had fell in love with being alone. I love the life with all by myself. 
Sometimes with my family, sometimes with just the few numbers of friends I had.
That's good enough.

At this point in life, I just want to catch my dreams, enjoy the limited youth, 
start to travel as much as I can, spending time with my love ones.

I don't need to find someone to share my unhappiness or to love me. 
I believe if things are meant to be, it will come naturally. Right?

Next stage of life is going to start soon~ 
Not really what I wanted to do but... I guess I'll be fine?

-----

Something happy to share after past depressing posts~

My first step to pursue one of my dreams is quite a good one. Although sometimes it is tough, needs lots of energy, patience, time, money and efforts, it keeps me ongoing in life and some aim in life. I am satisfied and going to try best to do better!

Life.

In the stage of life where everything just doesn't feel right.

I detest thinking about my future. I hate growing up.

Just suddenly everything is speeding up. 

I'm so sick and tired of everything.

I just want to sleep my life away.